I Hate My Self And I Want To Die

This is how I feel today. I've been in such a state of negativity lately, especially today. Maybe I need to stop watching so much Felicity. Har har. That show really do make you want to kill yourself though. Why it has been so bad:

1. Haven't been taking the meds (probably a contributing factor to the negativity, but I don't think it's all about that.)

2. Didn't get a call back today from University of Phoenix. I went to an interview Monday (o.k., it was a group interview) but the guy did say that if we didn't get a call by Wednesday that we would be getting a rejection letter in the mail. Guess what I got.

3. Because of all this stress over not finding a job, I really feel like I have no one to talk to, which just adds to the shit factor even more. It sucks having "friends" that you don't feel like you can call to just vent or have a shoulder to cry on. I lied. Instead of "friends" it should just be "friend." No plural. Which is why this is so hard for me. I guess I could call Megan, but what can she really do thousands of miles away in Albequerque? That is why I'm hoping Amy doesn't move to Sacramento so that she can be the friend I don't have. I just hope she likes to eat the outer parts of a Cinnabunn.

4. I lowered myself and applied for a server job at a restaurant today. Granted, it's a pretty neat place, however I feel that waiting tables is somewhat beneath me now. O.k., it's really not beneath me, but I really really hate waiting on people. Anyway, I went and filled out the application, and the lady said that four months of fine dining experience out of three years waitressing isn't enough for her. It's a fucking creperie/bistro for fucks sake!! I'm almost fucking 30!!! Can an almond sister get a break? Obviously no, Jen.

I don't know what else I can do at this point, except...well, ya know. I would apply at McDonald's, but it would be crushing if I got rejected from there too.